Tutors dream of being tasked with a cheerful, bright, dutiful young student, one who follows every direction and has an answer for each question. But the nature of our position often involves assisting students who aren’t the apple of their teacher’s eye.

And, that’s ok. It’s why we became tutors in the first place. Our job is to connect with the student and understand what makes him/her tick.

I’ve found that being able to shed the standard open-your-book -and-begin-the-assignment attitude is imperative when dealing with unorthodox students. For a variety of reasons, students suffering from depression or other behavioral issues do not take to standard classroom instruction and most likely won’t take to your tutoring prompts either. I’ve therefore found it necessary in these cases to go on the offensive and get creative.

Marc was one of these kids. An enormously intelligent adolescent who suffered from severe depression, he had difficulty with social interaction and frequently stayed home from school. When I arrived for my initial session with him, he was not in the best of moods.

Within five minutes he excused himself and I could hear him complain to his mother that he didn’t want to do this anymore. I heard violent screams from the other room: “Tell him to leave! I hate this! I can’t believe you’re doing this to me!” His mother apologetically came back into the living room and told me this probably wasn’t going to work out. But I asked if I could just talk to him once more and she agreed. “Hey Marc,” I whispered, “Can I come in to ask you a question?” “NO! GET OUT!” I realized I needed to come up with something to defuse the situation. “Why don’t we head to the coffee shop I passed by on the way here? Maybe a walk outside will help clear your mind. We’ll get some hot chocolate–we don’t even need to study.”

He was not expecting this. His mood changed instantly. He came out of his room as if nothing had happened (which I thought was a bit odd, but I went with it) and began putting on his coat. His mother shrugged her shoulders with a look of let’s-not-jinx-it and we were off. Our session that day was essentially Yu-Gi-Oh breaks interspersed with Biology, but I succeeded in forming a rapport with him, one that seemed unthinkable an hour prior.

Coming up with interesting games on the fly, creating scenarios that pertain directly to their lives, and making an occasional joke or two are just as important as the actual study material. I’ve found it produces better academic results and helps them adjust to new environments outside their academic lives as well. We would be well-suited to place a higher value on these tutoring techniques.

By David Hollander, Private Tutor

1. Fairness. You are the leader in the tutoring session and your behavior determines the student’s behavior. The student will look to the tutor constantly for consistent leadership. It is therefore important that the tutor understands what he or she asks from the student and is prepared to readily admit mistakes if any occur. Nothing destroys a student’s respect faster than insecurity and inconsistency.

Example:
Tutor: Caroline, that is incorrect, that is not the way you should be interpreting the text.
Caroline: But it says here that my teacher wants us to learn it this way though! 
Tutor (after several moments): I apologize, Caroline, I was mistaken. I understand why your teacher wants you to learn it this way and here’s why…

2. Malleability. Tutoring is not a boot-camp, nor a funhouse. You run an environment that gets the best results out the student. So when the student deserves a break or some leeway, give it to them. When their behavior forfeits your goodwill, these relaxed gestures should be curtailed. Maintaining strong boundaries helps keep them focused on the task at hand.

Example:
Ethan: I don’t want to do this, it’s so boring! I just did so much work too! 
Tutor: Ethan, you’ve worked cleanly and with a lot of dedication for 30 minutes straight. During the next simple exercise, you can put on your headphones and listen to some music.

(The tutor monitors his progress as Ethan does so.)

3. Promptness. When a student knows that his tutor will be sitting there every 5 o’clock on a Tuesday, it translates into engagement with the material and teaching character. A late tutor is seen as weak and ineffective, one that doesn’t take his job or the material very seriously.

4. Sense of Humor. A student’s mood often proves to be the only obstacle between success and glorified baby-sitting time. A mind consumed with a bad day at school has little room for Math or English. To get their attention in the right place, a joke is in order. Find something entertaining about their One Direction, American Girl, or Yankees obsession and crack wise (gently, of course). Putting a smile on their face will relax the session and open their minds to learning.

By David Hollander, Private Tutor