Middle School Archives

Home from Camp: How to Help Your Kids with the Reentry

August 5, 2014 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

By Beth Arky
Original Source: Child Mind Institute
Originally posted July 29, 2014

As parents we spend months readying our children for sleepaway camp, from finding the right camp to choosing between iron-on tags and Sharpies to mark every last duffle bag-bound item with the child’s name. We anticipate summer camp experiences good and bad, from making new friends and learning new skills to homesickness and pinkeye. What moms and dads are less likely to anticipate is that just as going to camp is a major transition for a child, so, too, is coming home.

With the bulk of campers homeward bound over the next several weeks, it’s worth noting that while many kids who enjoyed stretching their wings will have a relatively smooth reentry to the nest, others will have a bumpier landing.

Dr. Michael G. Thompson, a psychologist and author of Homesick and Happy, says returning children fall into one of three groups. “I think that the majority of kids come home pretty satisfied, more grown up, and very proud of themselves,” he says. These kids try to show off their newfound maturity, setting tables and pitching in on chores, just as they had at camp.

Kids in this first group may have learned to water ski or overcome their fear of bugs but, more importantly, “they conquered a huge developmental piece. They managed without their parents,” says Carolyn Meyer-Wartels, a Manhattan psychotherapist who’s worked with families on after-camp problems. They even had the chance to play with their personas: Maybe they’d be the funny one, or the serious one, at camp. Plus, she says, “there’s a whole new group of friends and adults to rely on.”

But Dr. Thompson says children’s new thoughtfulness doesn’t tend to last too long. “Generally, grown-up behaviors fall away and they return to baseline” in the context of home, he says. “Your mother knew you when you were little and needy. Her presence evokes those feelings in you.”

“There’s usually a brief honeymoon and then a bit of a crash,” Meyer-Wartels agrees. “Camp has a lot of rules but it’s fun, you’re never alone, and the group is doing chores like clearing the table together. But then the child comes home and there are the different rules and expectations of family life.”

This may spark some power struggles—and even a bit of backtalk. “You can speak with your friends in a totally different way than you can speak with adults,” she says.

Campsick kids

Thompson describes the second group as the ones who come home and are quite “campsick” for a few days. Missing the friends, the independence, and the routine of camp, they find themselves “flopping about the house, and they don’t want to be home,” he says. This often hurts parents’ feelings. “They’re very glad their child had such a good experience at camp but are a little miffed he’s saying so quite so loudly.” He encourages parents to wait it out and not take it personally: This unhappy transition usually lasts only two to four days.

Along with the sadness at the end of camp may well be the realization that summer is coming to a close and the school year is looming, adds Meyer-Wartels. And if the child is coming home to a stressful family situation, that’s going to show up, too.

She says it’s very common for campsick kids to become obsessed with maintaining their camp friendships, spending large chunks of time online posting photos, chatting, and Skyping. This isn’t necessarily bad; technology can be a blessing for kids who don’t have many—or any—friends at home. They’ve forged strong bonds, perhaps for the first time. Parents can try to arrange play dates and get-togethers, but when this is a geographic impossibility, the Web can be a beautiful thing.

The vocal minority: unhappy campers

Unfortunately, there’s also a small percentage of kids who have had negative camp experiences, from not making friends to serious homesickness. If homesickness was part of the problem, Meyer-Wartels says, younger kids may act clingy and somewhat regressed when they come back, not wanting to leave mom’s side. Anger may lead older kids to give their parents the silent treatment.

Dr. Thompson says this third group may include many with special needs. For those with anxiety disorders like OCD, “camp was just a psychological workout,” he says. They may in fact have had a good time but may think, ‘You put me in a hard situation, mom,’ so they make you pay a little bit.”

We all tend to collapse around the people who love us, he notes. “It’s the regressive pull of home. So you’ll see a 14-year-old functioning at a high level away from home, but when he’s near his mother he’s whinier. He may have had a good time at camp, but make it sound as if it was one of the lower rings of hell from the Inferno.”

Dana, a parent of a 10-year-old with a mild form of autism, says she thinks her son, Billy, had a great time at his special-needs camp. “Those pictures on the web site don’t lie,” she says. “That’s a real Billy smile.” The boy has confirmed to his parents that he loved camp.

But since they returned home from a post-camp vacation, Dana has noticed that Billy’s “trigger is a bit short.” If there’s any transition or he’s asked to do anything he doesn’t want to do, he melts down.

Going on a family vacation directly after picking Billy up from camp might have compounded things. “It was hard for him because he was really homesick,” Dana says. “He really likes our house and wants to be there. Every day, he said ‘I want to go home.'”

Dr. Thompson says anxious kids with OCD tendencies come home and begin a campaign immediately to avoid being sent to camp again next year. “What they’re trying to do is dictate to the parent and regain a sense of control over their lives,” he says. “They are seeking the protection of home for the future.”

What’s a parent to do?

For those kids who return from camp with good feelings, it’s important to notice their confidence. “They come home and they might feel a little like they’ve changed to some degree,” Meyer-Wartels says, “and it’s important we recognize the new things that have emerged in them.

If a child’s homecoming brings with it not just piles of laundry but negative behaviors, she says, it’s key for parents to try to understand what happened at camp. While some kids will talk about it a lot, others will be quiet.

“Parents should look beyond the surface to see what really happened for them at camp, what went on internally, not just what new skills they developed,” Meyer-Wartels says. She says parents need to remember to listen closely to their kids and acknowledge the difficult feelings they are expressing so they feel understood. If a child shows signs of anxiety that persist for several weeks (i.e. sleep disturbances, moodiness, loss of appetite, or not being him or herself), she says, it’s time to consult a professional.

Dr. Thompson urges parents to listen to a child lobbying to not go back to camp, but avoid being pushed into a “never-again” pledge. “Usually,” Dr. Thompson says, “parents give in because they need a break. But once you give in, you can’t go back. You can say, ‘We’ll think about it, we’ll talk about it.'”

Dana reports that Billy says he doesn’t want to go back to camp next year. Basically, he “did it” and doesn’t need to do it again. However, she says, she’d definitely send him again, as well as to day camps with neurotypical kids. For now, though, she’s sticking with “we’ll see.”

One Quick Tip to Improve Reading Comprehension

July 25, 2014 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

One of the reasons I’m qualified to be a test preparation tutor is that I did very well on standardized tests. Some of my skills came from being the best student I could be, others I developed through studying how to take tests. There’s a few “tricks” I learned along the way that helped me and my students improve their scores immensely. The skill I’m going to describe to improve reading comprehension can be developed at any grade level and at any reading level. If you have young kids prepping for the ISEE and SSAT, they can benefit from this advice as much as SAT, ACT, and GRE students.

If you’re interested, read on.

In Reading Comprehension sections of almost every standardized test, a test taker is asked to remark on a specific detail in the text. My problem, and the problem of about 99% of the students I’ve worked with is that we tended to rely on our memories to answer the questions instead of looking back at the text. Despite the fact that I’m a very smart person with a great memory (as are my students), there’s a high probability of error when we examine only the question and do not check the passage to verify. So, the NEW rule is:

Re-SEARCH the passage, do not re-read.

What I mean by Re-SEARCH is that we get familiar with a passage by reading it the first time, so we know where to look to check our answers. It’s not necessary to re-read everything, but it is necessary to do a quick search. My students and I (before I learned my lesson!) lost countless points by using our memories—there’s all kinds of twists and turns test makers add to a passage that can negate the meaning of a phrase and alter the meaning of a question that are almost always resolved through research. I make my students POINT to the exact sentence containing the answer.

If your child is very young, you can start developing this habit by reading with your child and asking them to pinpoint specific facts. One of my students and I would read The New Yorker because it was his father’s favorite magazine (in general, kids tend to be very interested in whatever their parents read). The reading material itself actually doesn’t matter much except that the student needs to be motivated to read the piece (whatever it is) from beginning to end. I’ve had good results reading pulpy fashion magazines and sensational news magazines because keep teens reading because the stories are often about celebrities.

When I work on active reading with a student, we would read and the conversation would go like this:
Grant: “How old is the main character?”
Student: “Sixteen”
Grant: “Ok, show me where it says that specifically.”
Student: (after some searching) “Oh, she’s fourteen, it says right here.”

This is a small skill that sounds like common sense, but common sense is not common practice. If I could pick one skill to cultivate that would help my students the most on this section of tests, I’d pick this one. Re-SEARCH don’t re-read. Pinpoint the exact spot. Verify.

You can do this too! Give your son or daughter something to read. Start with small and go for longer pieces later. As kids get older it’s possible to give them bigger tasks without supervision. Have them point out the last name of the person in the article, ask where the story took place, ask what the name of the main character’s cat is. Have your child locate the facts in the text.

And, like all exercises adjust to more difficult tasks and more specific questions. Also, it can be a great bonding activity to read an article and discuss it with your child—the ideas, the issues, the controversy. You’ll help them and you’ll be spending time talking about ideas that interest you both.

Just throw in the tiny distinction of pointing out the specific location of a fact and you’ll improve reading comprehension (and test scores).

By Grant Bergland, Private Tutor

College Essay Tips and Tricks

July 14, 2014 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

The spring and summer seasons are a great time for rising seniors to start working on their college essays. There are numerous books, expert guides, and how-to checklists for writing the the most important few-hundred words of a high schooler’s career; however, there really are only a few key things to keep in mind. When discussing ideas and approaches with your child, make sure to relate the following:

DON’T rehash your resume. Are you a debate club junkie? Have you won numerous awards for your arguing acumen? Is your debate coach writing one of your recommendations? Then it’s covered–don’t write about debate team or anything related in your essay.

DON’T use obvious or overused examples such as a story about how you fell down during a cross country race and managed to finish, or one about how you got a C in Chemistry in the fall but worked hard to raise it to an A in the spring. The former is a generic trope that doesn’t reveal anything about you; the latter will be obvious from your transcript.

DON’T try to be funny. Admissions counselors are reading the essay to get a better, more well-rounded sense of who you are. If you come off as chummy, you will look like you don’t take the school or the application process seriously. Even worse, your sense of humor could come off as offensive. Save your jokes for your texts with friends.

DO show. DON’T tell. Boring verbs=boring sentences=boring essay.

Example Prompt: Explain your desire to attend Princeton University.

Boring Intro: “Since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to go to Princeton because it has a good English Department. I have always loved reading and writing, and Princeton’s program is one of the best the nation. The Great Gatsby is my favorite novel in particular, and, since F. Scott Fitzgerald attended Princeton, I know I would like it there.”

Better Intro: “In my family, we call my Aunt Beatrice “Aunt Bookie” because every time I go to visit her in New Brunswick, she sends me home with armloads of books to read. She introduced me to Alice and the rabbit hole, Milo and his tollbooth, Bilbo Baggins and Middle-Earth, and, most importantly, Nick Carraway and West Egg. When I finished the Great Gatsby, she suggested that we take a trip to nearby Princeton so I “could see a college for writers.” As we walked around the campus, I began to imagine I was Fitzgerald dreaming up Gatsby’s extravagant parties…”

DO be vulnerable. DON’T be defiant or depressing. Were you scared after your mom lost her job? Did your brother’s rare cancer put stress your relationship to him? It’s OK to highlight rough patches in your life as long as you do so to illustrate what you learned about yourself or how you grew as a person. If your grandmother dying last year was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to go through, that’s perfectly fine to write about–just make sure your story has an arc.

Finally, remember that the essay is only one piece of the application pie. Your personal statement could be the best one in the pile, but if your grades, recommendations, test scores, and extracurriculars are not up to par, it won’t be what gets you into school. That being said, if you have a solid application, an essay that provide insights into who you are that the admissions team otherwise would have no indication of from the rest of your documents will be an enormous asset in setting you apart from the other applicants.

By Daphne Muller, Private Tutor

Why Handwriting is Still Important

June 17, 2014 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

A recent article in the New York Times outlines the work of a few scientists who argue that handwriting, an art quickly disappearing from curricula and state standards of education (including the Common Core State Standards) is more important than some realize. Maria Konnikova’s comprehensive article highlights the work of psychologist Karin James, at Indiana University, who has used brain imagery to show that the process of learning how to write by hand might actually help children learn in the long run.

The Experiment

In Dr. James’ experiment, “Children who had not yet learned to read and write were presented with a letter or a shape on an index card and asked to reproduce it in one of three ways: trace the image on a page with a dotted outline, draw it on a blank white sheet, or type it on a computer. They were then placed in a brain scanner and shown the image again.

The researchers found that the initial duplication process mattered a great deal. When children had drawn a letter freehand, they exhibited increased activity in three areas of the brain that are activated in adults when they read and write: the left fusiform gyrus, the inferior frontal gyrus and the posterior parietal cortex. By contrast, children who typed or traced the letter or shape showed no such effect. The activation was significantly weaker.”

In Dr. James’ view, these differences can be attributed to the messiness of learning how to write with free-form handwriting: “not only must we first plan and execute the action in a way that is not required when we have a traceable outline, but we are also likely to produce a result that is highly variable.” These variabilities might be a learning tool in themselves. “When a kid produces a messy letter,” Dr. James said, “that might help him learn it.”

Possible Explanations

In another study conducted by Virginia Berninger, a psychologist at the University of Washington, it was shown that among children in grades two through five, printing, cursive, and typing are all associated with “distinct and separate brain patterns–and each results in a distinct end product.”

Berninger’s result showed that “when the children composed text by hand, they not only consistently produced more words more quickly than they did on a keyboard, but expressed more ideas. And brain imaging in the oldest subjects suggested that the connection between writing and idea generation went even further. When these children were asked to come up with ideas for a composition, the ones with better handwriting exhibited greater neural activation in areas associated with working memory — and increased overall activation in the reading and writing networks.”

Takeaways

Even though the importance of handwriting does have detractors–the Common Core, for instance, only requires that children learn handwriting in grades K-1–new research does suggest that the benefits of handwriting extend even beyond childhood and learning how to learn: “For adults, typing may be a fast and efficient alternative to longhand, but that very efficiency may diminish our ability to process new information. Not only do we learn letters better when we commit them to memory through writing, memory and learning ability in general may benefit.”

This research has suggested that writing by hand, even for older students, “allows the student to process a lecture’s contents and reframe it — a process of reflection and manipulation that can lead to better understanding and memory encoding.”

So what does this mean for your child? Encourage your student to leave the laptop at home and write notes by hand: you never know what good it will do.

Written by: Editorial Team, My Learning Springboard, Inc.

Teaching Students to Embrace Mistakes

June 13, 2014 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

By Hunter Maats and Katie O’Brien, authors of The Straight A Conspiracy
Original Source: Edutopia
Originally posted March 20, 2014

For the last ten years, we’ve worked one-on-one with students from elementary school through graduate school. No matter their age, no matter the material, when you ask what they’re struggling with, students almost universally name a subject: “math,” “English” or, in some instances, “school.” Doubting that all of school is the issue, we then ask to see their last test. After some grumbling, the student digs down, deep into the dark, dank recesses of his or her backpack, and pulls out a balled-up, lunch-stained paper that, once smoothed out, turns out to be their latest exam.

To a teacher, this should be incredibly frustrating. You spend a huge part of your life grading tests, commenting on essays, and providing thoughtful feedback on homework assignments, only to have them wadded up and ignored. (Yes, students look at their tests, but you shouldn’t harbor any illusion that they look at anything but the red letter grade.) Before writing students off for being ungrateful or lazy, you need to understand why what they’re doing makes perfect sense.

The Science Behind Mistakes

Telling students they need to take advantage of the feedback they get isn’t just good advice: it’s established science. In the last few decades, researchers have discovered a lot about how people become experts. The main idea, made popular by everyone from author Malcolm Gladwell to rapper Macklemore, is the 10,000-hour rule. Ten thousand is the number of hours it takes to become an expert in almost any field. While it’s wonderful that people are starting to understand how work leads to expertise, the most important part of that research is not how much practice someone needs to perform, but what kind of practice. This latter category is called deliberate practice and involves isolating what’s not working and mastering the difficult area before moving on.

Picture a classical violinist rehearsing. He or she would not play a new piece start-to-finish, fudging through tricky sections and trying to “be done.” That musician stops in trouble spots, figures them out, and then plays that measure over and over again, and only moves on when it’s perfect. The same principle applies to schoolwork.

Mistakes are the most important thing that happens in any classroom, because they tell you where to focus that deliberate practice.

So why don’t students view their mistakes as a valuable asset? Well, students don’t think about their mistakes rationally — they think about them emotionally. Mistakes make students feel stupid. “Stupid” is just that: a feeling. Specifically, it’s the feeling of shame, and our natural response is to avoid its source. If we say something embarrassing, we hide our face. If we get a bad grade, we hide the test away. Unsurprisingly, that’s the worst move to make if you ever want to get better. Academic success does not come from how smart or motivated students are. It comes from how they feel about their mistakes.

Changing your students’ perspective on mistakes is the greatest gift you can give yourself as a teacher. Imagine having a classroom of students who are engaged and constantly improving…it’s every teacher’s dream. Instead, teachers face too many students who are disengaged and really rather surly. That surliness is years in the making. By the time students walk into your classroom, they’ve likely already internalized their mistakes as evidence that they’re just not smart. Getting a bad grade feels like a personal attack. No wonder they’re giving the deliverer of those grades the stink eye.

A Fresh Take on Mistakes

To help your students rethink mistakes, help them be specific about their errors. Knowing that answer #3 is wrong doesn’t mean much. Knowing that they didn’t understand mitosis gives them a mandate for getting better. Often, when we go through tests with students, the mistakes they perceive as dire are either careless errors or a single concept applied incorrectly on several questions. Either way, the “fix” is usually smaller than how big the problem feels.

You can also help students view their mistakes as helpful. The red pen isn’t the enemy: when students understand how to deal with errors, red means go. One way to encourage that attitude is to take the most common mistakes that the class made on a test or quiz and analyze them together. The more open everyone is about the mistakes they’ve made and how they happened, the less significance any student will place on future errors.

Mistakes happen for concrete reasons. A student didn’t memorize all the requisite facts, didn’t execute the steps of a process, or perhaps just ignored the directions. The red “X” is just a simple assessment of the actions that student took — actions he or she can easily fix next time. Sharing that clarity and causality with your students is the best way to teach deliberate practice, instill motivation and help them develop a more constructive relationship with mistakes. In short, this creates the class you and your students have always wanted.