The Bar Mitzvah Service Begins…

Excitement  filled the beautiful room of the Alexandria River Park as family and friends eagerly anticipated joining the family in the age old Jewish tradition to become a Bar Mitzvah. The guests were welcomed into a beautiful space, where soft, elegant light gray drapes enveloped the room creating a warm atmosphere readying them to enjoy what proved to be the start of a very special evening. As the décor was minimalist in nature, the elegant statement it made was undeniable.  The chairs were set in an arc like formation, reminiscent of theatre in the round and held a blue ribbon bound, white siddur that allowed them to peek into what to expect from the ceremony to become a bar mitzvah.

As the ceremony began, his parents presented him with a family Tallit which was originally given to his great grandfather from his great grandmother. The Tallit has been used in most of  the  family’s events since then including his father’s Bar Mitzvah, his parent’s wedding and the Bar Mitzvah’s of his sister and all of the cousins. The powerful moment of this tallit ceremony was filled with sentiment and connection to tradition.

Amid all the elegance, colorful kippot from a South Africa free trade Judaica organization and decorated in the logos of Coca Cola, Fanta, and Sprite sodas were seen perched upon the heads of the young guests. They were so much fun that even the adults enjoyed wearing them.

As his D’var Torah was articulated, he asked the very same questions that our ancestors asked throughout the centuries. He spoke with conviction and knowledge as he shared his interpretations of the text that he spent so much time studying. He discussed and dissected it as intensely and thoroughly as would a scholar.  He spoke with feeling from the heart as he shared his personal experiences that led him to his Mitzvah Project that represented the newfound responsibility he had acquired as a Jewish adult.

As the lights went down the Havdalah service began, symbolizing not only the change from Shabbat to weekday, but also highlighting the official transition from his childhood to his Jewish adulthood.

He displayed confidence, composure and dare I say “coolness” as he stood in front of his friends and family.  He shared what he had learned so far as a Bar Mitzvah, becoming a Jewish adult and a responsible human being.  It was a joy to have this delightful young man as my student as we studied, questioned and grappled with our ancient texts. It was even more joyful when his parents joined him at the bima and wrapped him in his family tallit and the Shehecheyanu was recited which expressed gratitude for “… us to reach this moment, this occasion, this joy.”

Click to read The Journey To Become a Bar Mitzvah, Part 1.

By Nicole Raphael, Private Tutor

I was simply thrilled when Brad and Faya from My Learning Springboard called and presented to me an exciting albeit challenging assignment.  I would soon join the MLS team to prepare a young boy for his Bar Mitzvah. My work was to guide my new student in writing his D’var Torah, to prepare the siddur for the ceremony as well as officiate the service. My student’s Torah portion was Bereishit. It was wonderful that he would be focusing on all of the beginnings – all the firsts, and how they cross over and illuminate all of the firsts in a young person’s life. One of the most important firsts for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is the step taken to begin taking responsibility for one’s actions. I worked with my student to expand on this theme of “taking responsibility” in the stories of Bereishit and had him connect it to his own responsibilities as a young Jewish adult.

Starting the D’var Torah writing process…

As I do with all of my students, I brought in a play, this one based on Bereishit. Reading plays adapted from the stories allow my students to not only loosen up and have fun as they are introduced to the Torah, but it also gives them the opportunity to walk in the shoes of the “characters” of the Torah. It gives them a place to start studying that is neither too scary nor too profound, but rather interesting enough to elicit questions – something all Educators hope to do.

We delved into Bereishit, and I guided my student through points where the theme of “responsibility” were presented.  As we moved on to the story of Cain and Abel, I asked him to personalize the story in relationship to his own “responsibility” as a sibling and to his family.  Incorporated into his speech he announced his acceptance of responsibility for his family by proudly affirming his status as his “sister’s keeper.”

In the final portion of Bereishit, which introduced the tzaddik, Noah.  He learned how Noah was “righteous among his generation.”  As we discussed this theme we spoke about how moved he was during a recent family trip to a small village in Peru that he took on the “responsibility” to give tzedaka to the people in Peru as his Mitzvah Project.  In order for him to recreate his memories of his trip to Peru to include in his speech, I led him on a sense memory meditation. I had him close his eyes and guided him through the sights, smells, and sounds of his trip to the village that he visited. This section of his d’var torah was simply beautiful and brought his memories to life.

Practicing the Bar Mitzvah speech…

I guided my student in both the preparation and presentation of his speech.  I made sure to have him practice his reading skills and I went over some exercises with him so he could improve his “public speaking.”  I had him work with a cork. (Yes! A cork!) He would read a sentence at a time with a cork in his mouth (over-enunciating every word), then he would repeat the sentence without the cork. We worked through most of the text this way and he was able to “feel” the difference in his presentation. We didn’t want all of his hard work to remain on the page. We made sure that each of his words were heard.

Click to read The Journey To Become a Bar Mitzvah, Part 2. 

By Nicole Raphael, Private Tutor