All Articles tagged high-school.

When Kids Refuse to Go to School

September 2, 2013 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

How to recognize what’s called ‘school refusal’ and how to get kids back in class.

By Rachel Busman, PsyD,
Original Source: Child Mind Institute
Originally posted September 26, 2014

The term “school refusal” used to be more or less synonymous with truancy, invoking a picture of kids hanging out on the street corner, or holed up in their bedrooms playing video games.

While it is true that some game-playing might well be involved, it’s important to understand that school refusal is not the same as playing hooky. It isn’t driven by the allure of having fun outside of school, but rather by an aversion to school itself.

Everyone resists going to school once in a while, but school refusal is an extreme pattern of avoiding school that causes real problems for a child. It is distinguished from normal avoidance by how long a child has been avoiding school, how much distress she associates with attending school, how strongly she resists it, and how much her resistance is interfering with her (and her family’s) life. Including all these aspects is important, because a child can still have school refusal even if she attends school most days. I’ve worked with kids who have missed only a day or two of school, but they’ve been tardy 30 times because their anxiety is so extreme it keeps them from getting to school on time. Kids with school refusal might also have a habit of leaving early, spending a lot of time visiting the nurse, or texting parents throughout the day.

Often kids with school refusal will start reporting unexplained symptoms like headaches or stomachaches. Anxiety does manifest in physical ways, so their symptoms could be indicative of that. As a parent, the first thing you want to do in this situation is get your child checked out by a pediatrician; you don’t want to overlook a medical problem. But it may be that going to school is her problem.

Sometimes resistance to attending school is just a little blip on the radar, and it can be easily remedied. Maybe your child had the flu and was out for a good amount of time, and now she is having a hard time making the transition back to school. Suddenly she’s getting clingy and anxious about all the homework she missed. In this scenario, it is important not to prolong time at home. Instead, you want to have a conversation with the teacher and with your daughter. You want to be able to tell her, “We’ve talked to your teacher, and he knows you were sick. I know you’re worried, but he understands. It’s time to get back to school.” Then she returns to school and often things go relatively smoothly.

These are mild situations. Similarly, some kids experience blips of anxiety after vacations. The key point is to get children back in school as soon as possible.

When school refusal starts to become a bigger problem—it’s going on for numerous days, weeks or even months—you should reach out and ask for help. This includes kids who go to school but only attend partial days because they are spending a lot of time in the nurse’s office and getting sent home early from school.

For more serious cases of school refusal, the first step in treatment is getting a comprehensive diagnostic assessment. While school refusal is not a diagnosable disorder, it often accompanies disorders like separation anxiety or social anxiety. A complete assessment helps treatment professionals understand what is underlying school refusal, allowing them to tailor therapy to your child’s particular situation.

It’s also possible that something specific is happening at school, like bullying or a difficult class. This doesn’t mean you should immediately jump in and ask your child who doesn’t want to go to school, “Who’s bullying you?” But it is important to know what is going on in your child’s life. You should expect to hear what her teacher is like and how homework is going. You should also have a sense of the kids your child is hanging out with. These are all things that should come up in everyday conversation. And if your child mentions that something happened that day, perk your ears and put down whatever you were doing and listen in a nonjudgmental way, because it could be important.

Treatment providers working with kids who have school refusal will often use cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps kids learn to manage their anxious thoughts and face their fears. While kids who are anxious might disagree, the best way to get over anxiety is actually to get more comfortable with feeling anxious. Kids need the chance to see that they can attend school and their worst fears won’t happen. Exposure therapy, which reintroduces kids to the school environment gradually, is very effective at this. In the very beginning of treatment, this might mean driving by the school or walking through its empty halls on the weekend. From there kids can work up to attending one or two classes and then eventually attending a full day towards the end of treatment.

It’s best to be proactive and catch school refusal as soon as you can. Unfortunately, the longer a child misses school, the harder it is to get back in the routine, because being absent is very reinforcing. I have worked with families that describe getting ready for school like it’s a battle complete with huge tantrums. Sometimes the morning gets so challenging and exhausting that mom and dad just give up and say, “Fine, stay home; I’ll go pick up your homework.” It’s a very understandable situation, but again, letting it continue puts kids one day further from being back at school. It is important for parents to know that the sooner the child gets back to school the better, and reaching out for help is an important first step.

Lessons from Homeschooling

August 28, 2013 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

With the start of the new school year fast approaching, parents and students alike are looking for fresh new strategies to make the coming year a successful one. Of course, we all want the conventional academic success of high grades and stellar test scores, but in framing goals for this new year, it’s equally important to focus on the less tangible forms of success that education can offer.

When I was home schooled between the ages of ten and fifteen, I had very little to aspire to in the way of concrete academic goals—no grades, no teacher comments, no classmates to compete with. There would be plenty of time for all that once I got to boarding school and college. What I did have, however, was the chance to explore other forms of academic and intellectual achievement, and as I would later realize, that exploration was essential to my success in secondary and higher education.

Home schooling isn’t right for every student, but it does offer perspectives that are undoubtedly useful for every learner and parent to keep in mind. Below, you’ll find three of the most useful lessons I picked up during my years of homeschooling, lessons which will undoubtedly serve you well no matter what form of education you (or your child) are engaged in.

Lesson 1: Manage Your Time

In a conventional school setting, students’ days and years are mapped out for them. Their schools tell them which classes to attend when, how much of a textbook to read on a given day, how many words to write in every essay. Often, students are given very little agency in their own educations, until the day in middle school or high school (or even college or later) when they’re suddenly swimming in work and unsure of how to begin making their way through it, having had so little previous practice in managing their own time.

Not so with home schooling. By the time I was eleven, I was making daily schedules for myself, allotting time for different subjects and figuring out, for example, how many pages I’d have to read each day if I wanted to finish a book over the course of a week. And what’s more, I was in charge of holding myself accountable. My parents might correct me if I strayed from the goals I’d set, but over time, my own desire to stay organized and educated became my primary motivation. Imagine my surprise when I left for boarding school at age fifteen, afraid that I’d be behind all the other students, and discovered that I was way ahead of the curve when it came to completing work thoroughly and on time. I still believe that plenty of practice managing my time at an early age gave me a substantial edge in college and in my professional life.

There are plenty of ways for a student in a conventional school to get the same kind of practice. Even before your child’s workload increases, it can be very helpful to encourage him or her to outline tasks and break them into smaller pieces. This is a great strategy for school projects, but it works equally well for any other activity your child is involved in. If she wants to get better at softball, help her organize a schedule for practicing based on a specific skill she wants to master. If he has a lines to memorize for a play, encourage him to figure out how long the task will take and set aside time accordingly. It doesn’t matter what the activity is; the idea is to help students get in the habit of being responsible for their own time and understanding how even difficult tasks become more manageable with smart, consistent scheduling. Then, when the time comes to juggle four AP classes and five extracurriculars, those students will already have gained the tools they need to thrive.

PBS Kids has some great resources for helping kids learn time management, as does familyeducation.com.

Lesson 2: Explore Your Passions

Home schooled kids still have to learn the same academic basics as any other students; I never loved math, but of course I still had to sit down and work through it on a regular basis. The thing about home schooling, though, is that its individual focus and efficient logistics (no commute to school or time spent waiting for the teacher to deal with the class troublemaker, for example) mean that there’s usually lots of time left over for students to do whatever it is they really love. And there’s always something; even kids who can’t presently identify a pressing passion will almost certainly find one (or ten) with enough space and resources. For me, this usually took the form of entire afternoons spent reading through everything I could find on a specific subject—horses, Scottish history, Cirque du Soleil, whatever. I learned and grew as a thinker through that abundant intellectual freedom, and when it came to the investigative skills and abstract thought required of me in later education, I was so glad of the space I had had to identify and pursue my own interests.

It may seem difficult given the endless pressures on today’s kids, but in between the demands of school, friends, and activities, giving students the chance to explore whatever they really care about will give them a huge leg up in their academic careers. Even if your child’s interests have no clear academic bent—maybe they’re into baking cupcakes or learning skateboard tricks—it’s still worthwhile to encourage them; they might never run a bakery or compete in the X Games, but they will learn how to gather information and apply themselves to challenging tasks, skills that are invaluable no matter where their lives take them. No absolute need for expensive lessons or instructors, either; often just some unstructured time, a library book, and a little encouragement will be plenty to help kids explore their interests and learn how to engage deeply with a complex topic.

Lesson 3: Own Your Education

When it came time for me to write my dreaded college application essay, I tried at first to write about anything but home schooling. I felt as though I’d spent my time in high school trying to shake home schooling as a label, and I wasn’t eager to let it define me in the eyes of colleges. What ensued was a series of perfectly fine essays that sounded nice but were ultimately impersonal; my teachers and advisors all commented that I seemed to be skirting around an important aspect of my personal history. Finally, I gave in, and wrote an essay about what home schooling had given me. When I received my admission letter from Brown University—now my alma mater—there was a handwritten note from an admissions officer at the bottom of the page saying how much they’d enjoyed my essay, and how confident it had made them that I was well suited for a Brown education. It seems obvious in retrospect, but what I almost refused to see at the time was that my home schooling wasn’t a meaningless quirk; it was an integral part of who I was as a student and a person. If I hadn’t come around to acknowledging that—if I hadn’t gotten over seeing it as boring and trite—then I might not have ended up at the college I did.

So often in the extensive college application process, students get tired of talking about whatever their “thing” is—science, or student leadership, or whatever it is that’s most shaped their experiences in school. Because they’re sick of discussing it, part of them feels like colleges will be too; who wants to read another essay about a kid who loves English class, after all? But if that love is truly essential to a student’s identity as a learner, then the resulting essay—if written with care and honesty—won’t be boring or cookie-cutter; it’ll be a genuine insight into how that student sees the world of education and his or her place within it. Compared to a less heartfelt essay about something ostensibly exciting (like, say, the things you learned that one time you went bungee jumping), a sincere emphasis on the aspects of your education that you really value will be more compelling every time. Whatever your academic experiences and enthusiasms are, own them; you’ll likely have a more enjoyable time throughout school, and be a stronger college applicant to boot.

With the above thoughts in mind, I hope you’ll find this school year ripe with opportunities for intellectual growth, both inside and outside the classroom.

By Hannah Sheldon-Dean, Private Tutor

Strategies to Make Homework Go More Smoothly

August 27, 2013 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

By Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP
Originally posted August 13, 2013

This article was originally published on the website for the National Association of School Psychologists. It was republished on the website for the Child Mind Institute.

With the start of a new school year comes another beginning parents sometimes dread: homework. Here is the best guide to helping kids do homework successfully that we’ve seen, published by the National Association of School Psychologists on their website, NASPonline.org. Our thanks to NASP for sharing it with us.

There are two key strategies parents can draw on to reduce homework hassles. The first is to establish clear routines around homework, including when and where homework gets done and setting up daily schedules for homework. The second is to build in rewards or incentives to use with children for whom “good grades” is not a sufficient reward for doing homework.

Homework routines

Tasks are easiest to accomplish when tied to specific routines. By establishing daily routines for homework completion, you will not only make homework go more smoothly, but you will also be fostering a sense of order your child can apply to later life, including college and work.

Step 1.Find a location in the house where homework will be done.

The right location will depend on your child and the culture of your family. Some children do best at a desk in their bedroom. It is a quiet location, away from the hubbub of family noise. Other children become too distracted by the things they keep in their bedroom and do better at a place removed from those distractions, like the dining room table. Some children need to work by themselves. Others need to have parents nearby to help keep them on task and to answer questions when problems arise. Ask your child where the best place is to work. Both you and your child need to discuss pros and cons of different settings to arrive at a mutually agreed upon location.

Step 2. Set up a homework center.

Once you and your child have identified a location, fix it up as a home office/homework center. Make sure there is a clear workspace large enough to set out all the materials necessary for completing assignments. Outfit the homework center with the kinds of supplies your child is most likely to need, such as pencils, pens, colored markers, rulers, scissors, a dictionary and thesaurus, graph paper, construction paper, glue and cellophane tape, lined paper, a calculator, spell checker, and, depending on the age and needs of your child, a computer or laptop. If the homework center is a place that will be used for other things (such as the dining room table), then your child can keep the supplies in a portable crate or bin. If possible, the homework center should include a bulletin board that can hold a monthly calendar on which your child can keep track of longterm assignments. Allowing children some leeway in decorating the homework center can help them feel at home there, but you should be careful that it does not become too cluttered with distracting materials.

Step 3. Establish a homework time.

Your child should get in the habit of doing homework at the same time every day. The time may vary depending on the individual child. Some children need a break right after school to get some exercise and have a snack. Others need to start homework while they are still in a school mode (i.e., right after school when there is still some momentum left from getting through the day). In general, it may be best to get homework done either before dinner or as early in the evening as the child can tolerate. The later it gets, the more tired the child becomes and the more slowly the homework gets done.

Step 4. Establish a daily homework schedule.

In general, at least into middle school, the homework session should begin with your sitting down with your child and drawing up a homework schedule. You should review all the assignments and make sure your child understands them and has all the necessary materials. Ask your child to estimate how long it will take to complete each assignment. Then ask when each assignment will get started. If your child needs help with any assignment, then this should be determined at the beginning so that the start times can take into account parent availability. A Daily Homework Planner is included at the end of this handout and contains a place for identifying when breaks may be taken and what rewards may be earned.

Incentive Systems

Many children who are not motivated by the enjoyment of doing homework are motivated by the high grade they hope to earn as a result of doing a quality job. Thus, the grade is an incentive, motivating the child to do homework with care and in a timely manner. For children who are not motivated by grades, parents will need to look for other rewards to help them get through their nightly chores. Incentive systems fall into two categories: simple and elaborate.

Simple incentive systems.

The simplest incentive system is reminding the child of a fun activity to do when homework is done. It may be a favorite television show, a chance to spend some time with a video or computer game, talking on the telephone or instant messaging, or playing a game with a parent. This system of withholding fun things until the drudgery is over is sometimes called Grandma’s Law because grandmothers often use it quite effectively (“First take out the trash, then you can have chocolate chip cookies.”). Having something to look forward to can be a powerful incentive to get the hard work done. When parents remind children of this as they sit down at their desks they may be able to spark the engine that drives the child to stick with the work until it is done.

Elaborate incentive systems.

These involve more planning and more work on the part of parents but in some cases are necessary to address more significant homework problems. More complex incentives systems might include a structure for earning points that could be used to “purchase” privileges or rewards or a system that provides greater reward for accomplishing more difficult homework tasks. These systems work best when parents and children together develop them. Giving children input gives them a sense of control and ownership, making the system more likely to succeed. We have found that children are generally realistic in setting goals and deciding on rewards and penalties when they are involved in the decision-making process.

Building in breaks.

These are good for the child who cannot quite make it to the end without a small reward en route. When creating the daily homework schedule, it may be useful with these children to identify when they will take their breaks. Some children prefer to take breaks at specific time intervals (every 15 minutes), while others do better when the breaks occur after they finish an activity. If you use this approach, you should discuss with your child how long the breaks will last and what will be done during the breaks (get a snack, call a friend, play one level on a video game). The Daily Homework Planner includes sections where breaks and end-of-homework rewards can be identified.

Building in choice.

This can be an effective strategy for parents to use with children who resist homework. Choice can be incorporated into both the order in which the child agrees to complete assignments and the schedule they will follow to get the work done. Building in choice not only helps motivate children but can also reduce power struggles between parents and children.

Developing Incentive Systems

Step 1. Describe the problem behaviors.

Parents and children decide which behaviors are causing problems at homework time. For some children putting homework off to the last minute is the problem; for others, it is forgetting materials or neglecting to write down assignments. Still others rush through their work and make careless mistakes, while others dawdle over assignments, taking hours to complete what should take only a few minutes. It is important to be as specific as possible when describing the problem behaviors. The problem behavior should be described as behaviors that can be seen or heard; for instance, complains about homework or rushes through homework, making many mistakes are better descriptors than has a bad attitude or is lazy.

Step 2. Set a goal.

Usually the goal relates directly to the problem behavior. For instance, if not writing down assignments is the problem, the goal might be: “Joe will write down his assignments in his assignment book for every class.”

Step 3. Decide on possible rewards and penalties.

Homework incentive systems work best when children have a menu of rewards to choose from, since no single reward will be attractive for long. We recommend a point system in which points can be earned for the goal behaviors and traded in for the reward the child wants to earn. The bigger the reward, the more points the child will need to earn it. The menu should include both larger, more expensive rewards that may take a week or a month to earn and smaller, inexpensive rewards that can be earned daily. It may also be necessary to build penalties into the system. This is usually the loss of a privilege (such as the chance to watch a favorite TV show or the chance to talk on the telephone to a friend).

Once the system is up and running, and if you find your child is earning more penalties than rewards, then the program needs to be revised so that your child can be more successful. Usually when this kind of system fails, we think of it as a design failure rather than the failure of the child to respond to rewards. It may be a good idea if you are having difficulty designing a system that works to consult a specialist, such as a school psychologist or counselor, for assistance.

Step 4. Write a homework contract.

The contract should say exactly what the child agrees to do and exactly what the parents’ roles and responsibilities will be. When the contract is in place, it should reduce some of the tension parents and kids often experience around homework. For instance, if part of the contract is that the child will earn a point for not complaining about homework, then if the child does complain, this should not be cause for a battle between parent and child: the child simply does not earn that point. Parents should also be sure to praise their children for following the contract. It will be important for parents to agree to a contract they can live with; that is, avoiding penalties they are either unable or unwilling to impose (e.g., if both parents work and are not at home, they cannot monitor whether a child is beginning homework right after school, so an alternative contract may need to be written).

We have found that it is a rare incentive system that works the first time. Parents should expect to try it out and redesign it to work the kinks out. Eventually, once the child is used to doing the behaviors specified in the contract, the contract can be rewritten to work on another problem behavior. Your child over time may be willing to drop the use of an incentive system altogether. This is often a long-term goal, however, and you should be ready to write a new contract if your child slips back to bad habits once a system is dropped.

Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP, is a school psychologist with the Center for Learning Attention Disorders of the Seacoast Mental Health Center in Portsmouth, NH, and a past president of the National Association of School Psychologists.

Helping Challenged Kids Go Back to School

August 23, 2013 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

Model confidence, create structure, and get to know the new teacher.

By Harold S. Koplewicz, MD
Original Source: Child Mind Institute
Originally posted July 12, 2015

Every child faces challenges when heading back to school. But back-to-school time can be exceptionally difficult for the 20 percent of children who suffer from a psychiatric or learning disorder. The school environment demands many things that summer activities don’t—the ability to sit still; get organized; stay on task; and adapt to a new, highly structured daily schedule. School also requires kids to separate from their parents and interact with peers—enormously challenging tasks for any child with anxiety.

Here are six things parents need to know about starting school with vulnerable children:

1. Psychiatric health problems emerge at back-to-school time.

Children with special needs require a lot of help learning how to manage a new schedule. As a parent, you can ease your child’s anxiety by modeling confidence and calm behavior, and by imposing structure in family life (mealtime, homework, and bedtime routines). But if your child shows signs of extreme anxiety and has unusual difficulties in school, you should immediately discuss your concerns with your child’s teacher as well as a mental health professional, someone who can advise on whether a child’s problems are normal and age appropriate or require further evaluation.

2. Kids’ brains are changing dramatically.

Profound changes occur in the brains of children, particularly as they enter their teens. The teen brain starts “pruning”—strengthening some synapses and eliminating many others. A temporary imbalance of this pruning in certain areas of the brain has been linked to teens’ erratic and risky behaviors, as well as the onset of anxiety disorders , depression, and substance abuse . It’s important to keep communication open at this vulnerable time, when teenagers are starting to look like adults, and think they are adults, but may not have the skills to manage stress. If you haven’t already started setting time aside each day to talk to your child about challenges and new experiences at school, now is the perfect moment.

3. Anxious parents send anxious kids to school.

Anxiety disorders run in families. Plus, anxious people tend to marry other anxious people; children with two anxious parents are at especially high risk. But genetics are just one factor. Environment is another. Kids really are like sponges, absorbing the energy and adopting the behaviors around them. One of the most helpful things you can do is model calm, confident behavior, particularly while helping a child get ready for school. A child usually starts school no calmer than her least-relaxed parent.

4. Teachers matter, maybe even more than you think.

Teachers get to know a child’s family through the child’s eyes, and they get to know how a child behaves without his parent present. This means parents can get all kinds of information about a child from his teacher—information about learning difficulties and peer problems as well as academic achievements and close friendships. Teachers are allies, and you should talk to them regularly. Good questions to ask include: How is my child doing? Do you have any concerns about his social or academic skills? Do you think he needs my help with anything?

5. Homework time is crucial.

Young children with learning difficulties, as well as those without any documented problems, can benefit from their parents’ involvement during homework time. Parents should set aside time for a structured “homework session” each evening. A good routine might start like this: Create space on a desk to work; help him clean out his backpack; review the day’s assignments; and discuss the homework as well as any questions about it. You can observe your child’s learning strengths and weaknesses this way while also reinforcing good study habits. Be positive and encouraging.

6. Don’t jump to conclusions.

Kids grow and develop at different rates. Ideally, a child will acquire various skills within expected time periods, but she may develop more quickly in one area than another. Parents often worry when, for example, one 5-year-old can read fluently while another can barely sound out words on the page. But a lag in one area of development doesn’t mean a child has a disorder. If you think there might be a problem with your child’s development, talk to her teacher. A seasoned teacher, with about 10 years of experience, can frame your child’s progress in relation to as many as 300 other kids. Good teachers are invaluable allies.

How to Have Successful Summer Internships

June 18, 2013 Brad Hoffman Leave a Comment

Beginning in late May, the subways fill with college students who have flocked to New York City for summer internships. Anyone traveling to midtown on a weekday morning can easily see the influx of eager college students and MBAs headed to their publishing houses, law firms, accounting companies, and media offices. And on a summer Friday, interns are just about the only people working in offices. When I used to manage internships at Time Incorporated, this was absolutely my favorite time of year. Recruiters spend the school year cultivating relationships, assessing candidates, collaborating with managers, and assembling the “perfect” class of interns. It’s just amazing to watch everyone come together face to face when they finally arrive for orientation!

Having a successful internship is not solely the responsibility of the company. Interns must become active participants in order to optimize the experience. Whether the internship turns out to be your dream job or not, or whether your manager turns out be a great mentor or not, interns can make the most of the experience by staying focused on the following behaviors:

1) Observe. Before jumping in too quickly with judgments and recommendations, spend time observing the environment, understanding the company culture, and making sense of how the organization works. Try reaching out to colleagues within your department first and then branching out to develop a bigger picture understanding. Learn how departments work together and where the obstacles lie. Spend time watching, asking questions, and reflecting on your observations.

2) Ask questions. Most managers appreciate curiosity, but interns do need to strike a balance. Interns should keep in mind that managers and colleagues are juggling full plates and questioning can become overwhelming. Nonetheless, curious, creative, and intelligent interns set themselves apart and find ways to be appropriately curious. For some interns, they’ve had great success establishing a weekly meeting time with their manager to discuss their experiences, observations, and questions. Interns who are genuinely curious build better networks because their questions lead to introductions and more substantive interactions. They’re also seen as team players and problem solvers.

3) Take initiative.Your internship is a hands-on course with unlimited opportunities for learning. No matter what employers throw at you or which errands you have to run, make sure to find some takeaway from each experience you have. This learning includes both technical skills and soft skills with regard to managing time, priorities, goal-setting, and work relationships. During periods of “down time”, look for ways to be helpful and focus on adding value.

4) Focus on making contributions. Managers appreciate interns who can rise to the challenge and maintain grace under pressure. The first two weeks of your internship are an especially critical time period for establishing your reputation, and you’ll want to prove that you can do the nitty gritty as well as the substantive work. Think critically about the observations you’ve made, the questions you’ve discussed, and the experiences you’ve had to make valuable contributions, both big and small. If you focus on the needs of the business and think like an entrepreneur, you’ll definitely bolster your effectiveness.

By Brad Hoffman, M.S.Ed.
Board Certified Educational Planner and Learning Specialist
My Learning Springboard, Inc.